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Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, you have probably felt shy at some point in your life. There is a misconception that only introverts experience shyness, but it has more to do with being uncomfortable with yourself, especially around other people.
Shyness has three components:
- Excessive Self-Consciousness -- you are overly aware of yourself, particularly in social situations
- Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation -- you tend to see yourself negatively
- Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation -- you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people
Here are some tips that may help you overcome the uncomfortable feeling of shyness:
1. Understand Your Shyness -- What situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point?
2. Turn Self Consciousness into Self Awareness -- Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Most people are too busy looking at themselves.
3. Find Your Strengths -- It’s important to know and fully accept the things that you do well, even if they differ from the norm.
4. Learn to Like Yourself -- Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you.
5. Don’t Conform -- Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different.
6. Focus on Other People -- Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say.
7. Release Anxiety through Breath -- A simple technique to calm anxiety is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed.
8. Release Anxiety through Movement - One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that needs to be released. You can release this energy through physical movement.
9. Visualization -- Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps to shape your perception of yourself.
10. Affirmation -- Words can carry incredible energy. What you repeatedly tell yourself gets heard by your unconscious mind, and it acts accordingly.
11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation -- Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection and personal growth.
12. Accept Rejection -- Accept the possibility that we can be rejected, and learn to not take it personally.
13. Relinquish Perfectionism -- Create visions of yourself out of the Being from who you are, naturally; and let that expression flow, naturally.
14. Stop Labeling Yourself -- Stop labeling yourself as a shy person.
15. Practice Social Skills -- Like any other skill, social skills can be cultivated through practice and experience.
16. Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations -- Placing yourself in these uncomfortable situations will help to desensitize your fear of the situation.
17. The Three Questions -- During social settings where you may experience nervousness, periodically ask yourself the following three questions:
- Am I breathing?
- Am I relaxed?
- Am I moving with grace?
18. What is Comfortable for You? -- Going to bars and clubs isn’t for everyone. Understand what feels comfortable for you, and find people, communities and activities that bring out the best in you.
19. Focus on the Moment -- Becoming mindful of what you’re doing, regardless of what you’re doing, will take focus away from the self.
20. Seek and Record Your Successes -- Keeping a journal of your successes will not only boost self confidence, but also shift your focus towards something that can benefit you.
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